I think these past few months of idleness, reflection and searching have been extemely insightfuly and at the same time fulfilling. When I ask myself that darn question “What do i want to do with my life?” it honestly annoys me a lot. Because it has been built into me that, I have to find my passion quickly, and devote my life to it, whatever it may be.
However, from reading stories about people who’ve found their passion, I have found comfort in knowing that people do eventually find them, if they look for it (and even if they don’t) – it just happens.
I also wonder about if my parent’s are passionate what they do. They provide for the family quite adequately, are great parents and are happy people. They seem pretty content with their life. Is that good enough? To me, I would be happy with that.
These time of searching has illuminate a few things about myself: I like genuine (ie longer term) connections with unique and unusual people, I am attracted to positions or situations of leadership, responsibility and strategy-planning, music is in my blood, career isn’t life, freedom means I can pursue all my ambitions, I constantly need change…and the list goes on…
A friend of mine, during a couple of drinks, that she perceives me as a very smart and ambitious person; however hard on himeslf. It is true, I take myself very seriously, I mean…wouldn’t you take yourself seriously? It is your life, you know. At the same time I see myself as being very laid back and relaxed, just let thing’s happen. Maybe it’s just me juggling that paradox: I create my own success vs. success is not in my control, it will just happen by itself.
I think if one major point I’ve learned about pursuing passion has been that…It Changes. It doesn’t have to be one life-calling. Maybe God has called me to pursue multiple things that perhaps adds up to one grander scheme. I don’t have to be super duper passionate about the job I’m in, because maybe it is just leading up to something bigger.
I haven’t found an answer to that question yet so I’m going to keep on doing what I’ve always been doing:
Be a good person, and make everyone’s life around me wonderful.