Now that I have more free time on my hands, I start to notice things differently. Like for example, the need to be busy, to be mentally occupied…constantly! I just can’t make myself sit still for 5 minutes, I constantly need to be doing something, wether it is productive like working on a hobbie or a pet project, or unproductive like aimlessly surfing the web or the TV. Maybe other people have this voice in their head that says, “be busy, be busy, be busy”. I get that voice in my mind all the time, and it drives me insane!
Having grown up in the information age, people my age are very used to having everything near instantly. Our attention span is literally 5-10 seconds..or less. I remember situations where my friends and I ended up cancelling a gathering because we didn’t want to wait 15 minutes for someone. And of course, having worked in the events management line, programmes are planned merticulously down to the minute! Like the timing has to be perfect with no time for waiting.
The opposite of busy is waiting. This month, which is such a stark contrast to one year ago…I find myself waiting and waiting. Waiting for the next big thing, waiting to be (yes you guessed it) busy again. That little voice telling me I should do something with the time i have gives me an supply of guilt as i ‘try’ to enjoy my free time.
I think not being busy is a blessing and a curse. It’s a blessing because there’s more anticipation for upcoming activities, more sleep, and time to enjoy nature and life, less stress, more time with friends, and more ‘ME’ time. It’s a curse once you tell yourself ‘I could be doing so much more…” because the more things one does, the more one enjoys life.
Is there much more I can do? or is less…more?