2 Days in Bintan!

I just finished a 2 day excursion to Bintan, Indonesia with 8 other great Aiesec interns. I haven’t spent much time and money of purely leisurely excursions in a long time. It was worth it because of the adventure and the time spent bonding with other people. I had amazing conversations, swam a lot, and even played a very competitive and enjoyable game of volleyball. Even though I had to return to singapore for a short while during the weekend (which was a really interesting experience for me), I had just let go of work for the time being. It was refreshing!

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Work this week has been fruitful. The first workshops this week proved very challenging, but still I kept on going despite my nervousness and wavering confidence. Tomorrow will be the last day of my workshops this week. I’m training at an all boys school and I’m enjoying it a lot. I feel like I can connect a lot easier to them than other school, and it does bring out another side of me, the playful but stern big brother. I like it, and it’s a useful persona to have.

As you know, I’m always in pursuit of self-improvement (I’m a self confessed junkie), my current ambitions are going to Jakarta to coach a programme for my company. I think it would be a big step for me by training regionally.  Just the thought of it excites me, that’s why I’m working hard to improve my coaching skills.

My 2nd goal is to go to Orlando Florida for a Trainer’s Training programme by Richard Bandler. By attending this course I will vastly improve my training skills, and become a certified NLP Trainer. The course costs $4000 USD ($5500 SGD) (not to mention the $2000+ flight) which is easily more than 2 month’s my current salary. I see it as a big investment into my career as a trainer. I’m starting young which is great because in a few years I will be a very competent trainer, far younger than others at the same level as I. Certification is another big reason to go because it looks good on the resume. I know it’s ridiculously expensive but for some reason that because it’s expensive I’m going to make the most out of it. It’s only a 6 day course and I’m afraid I won’t learn as much as I paid for. I’ll be honest, I haven’t spent much money on upgrading myself (I think a grand total for $1000 SGD the last 12 months), but I think many of my peers haven’t any money on self-improvement as they usually spend it on weekend vacations.

Pay now, play later.

The more I talk about the course, the more I want to go. I have always been attracted to expensive things, and going to Orlando is no exception. Sure it’s gonna leave me with zero savings, but i know I can earn it all back in 4 or 5 months with. It is scary…so I must be on the right track.

A small but ever present fear…

My roommate casually mentioned that her colleague, who was about to get married on the weekend, was fired. Ever now and then I’m here of stories of people getting fired and it gives me an uneasy reminder of how fragile jobs are. I’d like to think my job is here to stay, but it’s not. I fear that my job can be taken away from me the next day and with that I’ll lose all the rapid learning opportunities, my friends, and  most importantly, my pride. I just can imagine how humiliating it would be. On the other hand, I can imagine what a powerful learning experience it would be, and how the rest of the world would suddenly open up to me. I guess that’s one of the problems: I’m too attached to my job. I love what I do, and I enjoy all the good and the not so good times…it’s because I take it so seriously.

Just a few thoughts to chew on.

Do my best, and fight on!

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