Life is confusing! but favorable

I guess I have be thankful that there are a lot of wonderful things going on in my life, some positive and some are just positive things in disguise.

I just want to say that I have been blessed with favour from people around me and circumstances in my life. I can say that I wouldn’t be in Singapore and in the line of work if it wasn’t for favor given to me. Even in recent challenges in my life, I have been granted favor in the eyes of those I least expected and of course from those closest to me. The result? More favorable options have been presented to me.

I’ll let that resonate out.

Big changes means a big update

I just came back from an amazing trip in China. The purpose of the trip was to meet all my friends again and just hang out with them. It wasn’t so much about sight seeing or shopping, but really it was about meeting old friends. We came from all over the world, Canada, Germany, Singapore, other parts of China, Japan for one simple thing: to attend my friend’s wedding in China. I’ve known this guy since 2004 (though i haven’t seen him for most of it) during university days. All the people that flew in to attend the wedding have known him during university. He always loved Chinese girls, he had yellow fever…so it was great news that he was getting married to a, well you guessed it, a Chinese girl from China.

The whole marriage experience I will never forget. The wedding took place in the semi-remote island of Pintan close by Taiwan which is where my friend’s wife is from. We chartered a bus from Fuzhou airport and took the ferry over to get to the island. Everything was taken care of by the bride’s parents: transport, food, accommodation, gifts..heh I think I saved a lot of money because of them. We were treated like VIP guests Pintan style. Pintan is a relatively small town, it’s not a village because it has lots of shops and clubs, but it used to be a fishing village. The wedding part consisted of some ritual at the bride’s house and a precession to the restaurant for the wedding ceremony, a big feast and speeches. My friend’s wedding vow was long because it had to be translated to Mandarin, but still it was touching even though my friends thought it was too long.

It’s weird seeing my friends getting married because I’m so used to seeing everyone being a student…and unwed. I guess i have to get used to people referring to their partners as ‘my wife’ or ‘my husband’. I guess it is a sign of changing times.

After Pintan a few of us went travelling to Fuzhou Guangzhou Shenzhen and then finally to HK. It was a great time to bond with old friend and to enjoy the natural marvels and man-made marvels of China. I particularly enjoyed traveling on the train between Shenzhen and Guangzhou because the train was new and it was very fast compared to what I’ve taken in the past.

Hong Kong was expensive as usual. The food and the accommodation was expensive but this was ok because for the last few days we had our accommodation paid for by other people. We went to the Big Buddha temple, kareoke and for lots of dim sum.

It all went by so fast, all this happened in 7 days. At the end of it, I was sad (though I didn’t show it) to leave my friends who I shared so many laughs with. I was sad to leave such an enjoyable vacation back to reality with it’s never ending challenges.

You can check out the photos of me in China on my Facebook account. Just look at the photo’s added by others and check out their album if you can.

Step by Step: Balanced and Unblanced

These last few days have been big learning experiences…or more bluntly said…has been quite a shaky balancing act

On Thursday my training didn’t go very well. I wasn’t in state, I wasn’t interested and probably wasn’t prepared enough. I definitely didn’t feel satisfied with my performance even though it was the 2nd time I did that type of workshop. So I got a lot of feedback from my colleagues and the client and eventually was taken out of the camp for fear my reputation would be damaged.

Initially when I heard that I was being taken out of the camp I felt dissapointed and worried. Disapointed because I let my team down and worried because I was afraid they would give up on me. I’ve never been taken out of a camp before and I have never gotten a complaint from the client. So now after 4 months I got one (which on the bright side is quite good actually). Maybe a word of comfort is that I know most of the trainers, even the best ones, have received complaints…and they are still here, fighting on to get better – and that’s what I must do…persevere.

Being taken out of the camp was painful yes, but it actually turned out to be a blessing in disguise. That weekend I would’ve been juggling coaching, which would be all day, a toastmasters contest where I would be MCing, and stay healthy at the same time. Not training this weekend has allowed me to focus on coaching and the toastmasters more…and allowed me to recover from the last training.

I still have this feeling of disappointment because I have done something that i know I shouldn’t: over commit. I said ‘Yes’ to coaching full-time knowing full well that it would eat up almost a week…and knowing I had training and toastmasters too. During coaching (which the camp is still going on) I must admit that i didn’t do all the activities at my best, I was secretly wanting to be somewhere else, or doing something more useful. I really don’t like the feeling of not ‘being’ at a place, focusing on what is going on at that present moment. My mind was wandering and worrying about what I should be doing. I even attended I ‘mandatory’ meeting but didn’t get anything out of it and ended up waiting 3 hours of my time. What a terrible feeling. It doesn’t look good on my part to be there half assed. And i know it’s a pattern in my life. I just want to do everything and then sacrificing the quality.

Simple is good. Focus is good.

I have taken myself out of the camp to recoperate and work on my traing next week which will require lots of preparation, and time.

So, I will plan more carefully and thoroughly and whatever i commit to doing, I will do it with the best I can.

One of my wise friends gave this interesting analogy of self improvement that kind of stuck with me: in order for us to move forward towards our goals, we must go through times of being unbalanced like when new things don’t work out and we’re out of our comfort zone making mistakes, then we become proficient, comfortable and balanced again. Then the cycle keeps on going: balanced, unbalanced, every time we step forward it isn’t always stable but at least we’re moving forward.

Yes, even being unbalanced, screwing up, making mistakes is moving forward and I feel that I have moved forward and gotten stronger because of it.

Sleepless nights

My mind was so active today…so many ideas in my mind makes me very excited. Working on the career workshop project, a pet project i’ve been working on and off for the past few weeks.

I’ve also been watching very inspirational videos from TED www.TED.com

There are hundreds of short presentations about the great things people are doing and contributing back to society. It inspires me to start contributing back. Just like the famous saying ‘the more you give the more you’ll get back in return.’

I’ve been keeping my mind occupied because of the slowdown in training this month. This has turned out to be a huge blessing for me.

There has been a lot of events going on outside of work: Toastmaster contests which I’m heavily involved in, AIESEC events which I still continue to support, salsa, and now some side income generating projects. One of them is designing a website and a email template for a friend’s business. Another is the social entrepreneurship project to help young people become effective leaders in the professional world through workshops and coaching. It’s slowly building up. I’ve just allocated time to conduct a workshop about my project in May during an International AIESEC Conference on Social Entrepreneurship. It’s a great place to kick start the project. I’m also working on completing a Ebook about Hypnosis with my friend. Once each project is done, I can start seeing alternate sources of income…but that’s really not the goal of it…I’ve discovered something even more valuable.

Passion

Working on these side projects where I’m building something, creating plans, generating ideas and working hard to complete it makes me feel so alive. Like there’s so much more to life now. Just fantasizing about how massive and how successful the project will become keeps me up all these nights.

And there is no fear in diving into these side quests because it’s all new to me, it’s all an amazing learning experience…I’m waiting for things to go in unexpected ways, I’m waiting to learn from them and I’m willing to grow through these experiences.

I find that by doing many other things outside work, work becomes less stressful because my life doesn’t revolve around it. There are now many ways I can be an effective contributer to society and be greatly appreciated at the same time.

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Tomorrow is another trainers audition. 2 of my friends are auditioning and I know they’ve worked very hard to prepare. Whether they get in or not…doesn’t matter (though I do feel that they deserve it) they have stayed focused on what they wanted and just went for it.

Let’s see if the universe answers their request…

Yummy Salsa!

Yah, so finally after much delay, I’ve enrolled myself in Salsa classes. I’ve already had lessons before a few months ago, as well as when i was in college. It’s good to ‘relearn’ salsa from the basics because I have formed some bad habits over the years. If i’m going to learn salsa, might as well learn it the proper way.

Salsa class was predominantly female. There was about 1 guy for every 2.5 girls, and the class was about 20 people. Where all the guys went…i dunno. One of my classmates said that she believes Singaporean guys are very ‘conservative’. So they believe salsa is too feminine for them (ie. they don’t want to look gay). I think there were only 2 singaporean guys out of the 6 guys that were there. So more girls is good…it’s very good for a one simple reason: we guys will get more practice. We MUST get more practice because in any dance involving 2 people, the guy MUST lead.

I’ll be honest, the reason why I don’t go out and for social salsa-ing is because the guy must know how to lead the girl…and I have high expectations for myself. I don’t mind going out for clubbing and there happens to be salsa music, the expectation is lower because not many people know how to salsa. If I go to a salsa club, then there are more people who are skilled in the dance. So that’s why I’m working from the basics to basic competence…and so forth from that.

I have no idea why some guys think that salsa is less masculine. Is it because he must shake his hips? I can’t think of any other reason that make guys look less guy. On the other hand, learning how to dance salsa makes him even MORE of a man. He moves as one with the woman; he leads her with confidence and she follows. Simply amazing. I probably think it’s a dream of every woman to be in a passionate dance with a handsome man and to be swept off her feet. I don’t know if it’s true, but I won’t mind sweeping a girl off her feet!

I met some interesting people at the class. After class I got to know a few of them better: a guy from Canada who works at NUS, his colleague from Malaysia who studied in Australia, and a girl studied in Canada for 2 years. Since we are going to be touching er I mean dancing with each other, might as well be friends.

Oh yah so much fun!

Manager or Leader?

Last week was quite interesting. Went to a high-class fashion show at the Singapore Fashion Festival. It was a totally new experience for me hanging out with the rich, beautiful and the famous. I saw a few people who were celebrities and some who looked like they were celebrities. That evening, image was queen. I had no idea one could dress so extravagant. Not bad for $60 tickets for an hour and a half show.

On the other hand I went to the AIESEC Symposium held at the lush and very plush Fullerton Hotel. I enjoyed my time by networking and chatting with HR managers from MNCs and local companies. It was a totally different experience than the fashion show because I was more used to the business meetings, so I wasn’t quite as intiminated. The event was well planned and organised in the typical student fashion.

I saw many old friends there and made many new ones. There was one girl I hadn’t met in over 2 years when I went to china to apply for a position in AIESEC. She is now on the national team there in china, the team I didn’t get elected to. But I’ve always seen it in as a blessing. If it weren’t for me spending all that money to go to china to do really do my best to apply for that job…and to come in a very close second I wouldn’t be here in Singapore starting my career life

Having so much fun as well as having many challenges here in Singapore gives me the feeling that I have settled into this country. I don’t travel so often but I choose to spend most of my time enjoying simple pleasures such as biking, jogging, movies and hanging out at people’s houses.

During the AIESEC Symposium, a few HR managers and directors said that the challenge with today’s fresh grads and young executives is that they are not likely to stay in the same company for more than 1-2 years. It is fashionable to ‘job hop’ and gain a wide variety of experience from many big companies. Sure there will be a wide range of experiences gained, but without much depth.

The advantage of staying with one company, and I don’t think many students know about this is, the longer you stay in a company, the more responsibilities, the more CHALLENGING responsibilities will be handed down to you. These tougher assignments are the key to gaining valuable work experience in the career…and it takes time for it to appear. Job hopping is just touching on just the surface area, but useful for those who are still searching around for what they want to do as a career.

Another thing that is bothering me is why do new graduates aspire to become managers? Ask your average ambitious graduate what she wants to be when she enters the market place. What’s so good about being a manager? I do admit that when I was their age I did want to be manager but it’s more stressful, you have to find things for your subordinates to do, and keep them happy, and report up to YOUR manager. Managing is not fun, it’s almost like babysitting

I think the correct position to aspire up to is LEADER. You don’t need to be promoted to be a leader, you just can choose to become one. Even if you photocopy paper and bring coffee to seniors, you can be a leader that way. Simple, and more effective to get yourself noticed in the company.

A manager doesn’t equal leader just as a leader doesn’t equal to a manager.

I want to talk more about leadership but why don’t you take the lead to find out more on how you can be a leader in your life.

Step it up one more level!

While I was waiting to upgrade my phone software from Windows 5 to 6, I had to kill 4 hours ( dunno why the shop takes so long) so I caught a movie what was highly recommended by my participants at my last workshop. Step Up 2. It was an enjoyable movie about how background and school doesn’t matter in defining who you are in your life. A good lesson to tell my kids in training.

Step it up a notch!
I’ve decided to go for the trainer’s training course in July. I’ve applied for leave and waiting for approval (it’s my own personal leave and my own money).

Now I’ve realized it’s not so much about going to this course and learning, it’s about dreaming bigger and going bigger things. If the life of a trainer has taught me anything is that, time is precious, use it wisely. I have a more flexible schedule and a more dynamic environment which has stimulated my entrepreneurial drive.

Bigger dreams means I need to increase my income and to increase my net worth. I’m already earning at least twice what i’ve earned last year (while working less hours), so I’m looking to work for other people too doing coaching and training mostly. It’s time to do more business related activities.

One thing I’m considering is coaching/training on Career related matters. Every day I hear about people not happy about their jobs or wanting to move to higher positions but they don’t know how to do it. I can coach them or train them to be able to move to where they want to go in their career. This i know has big potential. I just haven’t done anything about it for a few months. I don’t know if i should start with training or coaching and how big or small to start. But yes, this is something I’m considering.

The point is, I can do so much more, and i can get so much more than Im receiving now. I’m reading Donald Trump’s book ‘The Art of the Deal’. He dreams big, and he receives big. I need to make a name for myself. Show that I can create a lot of value in the market. So I have to make my move soon. Enough waiting.

I was lookig forward to seeing this movie since it debuted on well…the 29th of february. For a Singaporean film, it was beautifully done and splendidly enjoyable. Go read the plot yourself, I don’t want to explain it.

The movie spoke to me on so many levels. I admit i was quite emotional during the movie because i could see myself as the protagonist. In some ways i do feel like i’m passing over opportunities in the area of love and relationships…like i’m always pursuing that ‘one’. There will be times I will feel like I’m walking this path of life alone. Always waiting. There are times where I do meet people that ‘distract’ me from waiting and i do wonder when i can stop waiting.

The film also talked about patience. Some people are willing to wait forever that one. Yes it is torturous at times, and may require a giant leap of faith. But the payoff when the wait is finally over…it’s a heavenly feeling!

Life is a journey. Be patient and enjoy the journey.

Weekend’s come and gone…but has left me with a smile.

This weekend was a socializing weekend.

On friday I went out visit AIESECers at TeaJoy. I haven’t been there in ages! The company was great as usual. Afterwards went to listen to jazz. Boy, did I miss listening to jazz. There’s just something magical about live jazz or latin music that sets my heart ablaze. Makes me wonder…when am I actually going to commit to learning latin dance… After march i will learn! I will be doing a lot of self improvement seminars and learning how to dance is just one of them.

This is Imran, Vasudha, and I outside TJ

Speaking of dancing, I had a wonderful time on saturday. It started with predrinking at one of the Dutch intern’s house. Chatted, and drank with familiar and fresh faces. Went to a lounge party for a few hours…chatted some more then headed to St. James Power Station. Now usually I don’t enjoy going to clubs, but St. James is an exception…and the company I had were the right type (FUN!). The band was awesome awesome. I think they were from Brazil and their sound (and the female singers’ clothes) were TIGHT. Simply said…I had a rocking night. And I managed to stay there for more than 3 hours (until 330 am) and not even feel tired at all! A big part of the fun was because of the company. Thanks Adeel, Janine, Melody, Shirley, and Ivan (still in luv?).

Life is a journey, enjoy every step.

I’m going to enjoy more aspects of my life (not just only work) and excel in all the areas. I don’t mind if I move slower in improving than others, at least I’m improving! It’s my journey.

2 Days in Bintan!

I just finished a 2 day excursion to Bintan, Indonesia with 8 other great Aiesec interns. I haven’t spent much time and money of purely leisurely excursions in a long time. It was worth it because of the adventure and the time spent bonding with other people. I had amazing conversations, swam a lot, and even played a very competitive and enjoyable game of volleyball. Even though I had to return to singapore for a short while during the weekend (which was a really interesting experience for me), I had just let go of work for the time being. It was refreshing!

Work this week has been fruitful. The first workshops this week proved very challenging, but still I kept on going despite my nervousness and wavering confidence. Tomorrow will be the last day of my workshops this week. I’m training at an all boys school and I’m enjoying it a lot. I feel like I can connect a lot easier to them than other school, and it does bring out another side of me, the playful but stern big brother. I like it, and it’s a useful persona to have.

As you know, I’m always in pursuit of self-improvement (I’m a self confessed junkie), my current ambitions are going to Jakarta to coach a programme for my company. I think it would be a big step for me by training regionally.  Just the thought of it excites me, that’s why I’m working hard to improve my coaching skills.

My 2nd goal is to go to Orlando Florida for a Trainer’s Training programme by Richard Bandler. By attending this course I will vastly improve my training skills, and become a certified NLP Trainer. The course costs $4000 USD ($5500 SGD) (not to mention the $2000+ flight) which is easily more than 2 month’s my current salary. I see it as a big investment into my career as a trainer. I’m starting young which is great because in a few years I will be a very competent trainer, far younger than others at the same level as I. Certification is another big reason to go because it looks good on the resume. I know it’s ridiculously expensive but for some reason that because it’s expensive I’m going to make the most out of it. It’s only a 6 day course and I’m afraid I won’t learn as much as I paid for. I’ll be honest, I haven’t spent much money on upgrading myself (I think a grand total for $1000 SGD the last 12 months), but I think many of my peers haven’t any money on self-improvement as they usually spend it on weekend vacations.

Pay now, play later.

The more I talk about the course, the more I want to go. I have always been attracted to expensive things, and going to Orlando is no exception. Sure it’s gonna leave me with zero savings, but i know I can earn it all back in 4 or 5 months with. It is scary…so I must be on the right track.

A small but ever present fear…

My roommate casually mentioned that her colleague, who was about to get married on the weekend, was fired. Ever now and then I’m here of stories of people getting fired and it gives me an uneasy reminder of how fragile jobs are. I’d like to think my job is here to stay, but it’s not. I fear that my job can be taken away from me the next day and with that I’ll lose all the rapid learning opportunities, my friends, and  most importantly, my pride. I just can imagine how humiliating it would be. On the other hand, I can imagine what a powerful learning experience it would be, and how the rest of the world would suddenly open up to me. I guess that’s one of the problems: I’m too attached to my job. I love what I do, and I enjoy all the good and the not so good times…it’s because I take it so seriously.

Just a few thoughts to chew on.

Do my best, and fight on!